January 2012
34 posts
The weight of my reality and my mistakes has cracked the surface of my sanity and I lay here tracing the lines with a lone finger and a tired thought. I have begun toying with an idea, a possibility that I may not be well. That while warring against my emotions and my beliefs, while trying to start over again and again and again… I have snapped. In several places. I have branched out into...
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“March 14, 1969: Who has never killed an hour? Not casually or without thought,...”
– House of Leaves
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discreet
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Scratched out lines on my own device
as tiny as my words
like fragments
a litter of metaphors
undefined thought space
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Here’s a familiar face, running back. Pull my hair, please. I’m brushing up with an old self to dive under resolutions. Three years later, still tracing the same lines on my flesh. I live by this pulse. I explode. I incinerate. I master this process to witness interminably as it repeats. And I grieve. I am tired.
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I have 37 unseen movies queued in my hard drive, and 106 more bookmarked titles to be downloaded. What torrents can do for a film buff.
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Fuck you, dad.
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Happiness, an illusion. (ref.)
This is the end of the line for me. And the misanthropy building up inside is not helping.
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Girl: I'm depressed.
Society: Stop begging for attention.
Girl: I cut myself.
Society: Stop begging for attention.
Girl: I want to die.
Society: Stop begging for attention.
Girl: Commits suicide.
Society: I wish we could have helped her before it was too late.
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Tonight I let the tears run down without even bothering to wipe them away. Not because of some stupid heartbreak or any other trivial matter. It’s just that this thing that I’m fighting against is becoming more real than ever. I’m no longer asking myself whether or not to do it, but rather, how to do it.
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The trick is to keep asking why.
- bed thoughts. 4.
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Do not get trapped in your perspective.
- bed thoughts. 3.
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The secret. →
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Style depends on context.
- bed thoughts. 2.
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What makes Facebook so appealing is the prospect of an audience.
- bed thoughts. 1.
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The Philippine postal service has the dirtiest, dirtiest system I’ve ever come across. All those hard-earned packages landing on dirty hands, and it’s been happening for decades. Their recruitment system must be made up of a bunch of syndicates. How is this still happening.
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Braced tight, this respiration
Whips from demise
Away, all solitary
Feet on my hands
Hands on your soil
So this continues
So many dreams die in a third world country.
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Listen with headphones.
Upular (3D Audio...
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post OD.
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“Please let me keep this memory, just this one.”
– Joel, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
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So it’s been two years since that New Year’s eve we spent on top of a mountain with nothing but a few cruddy tents and some gin. I still remember the way the city came alive with tiny dancing lights, the cold of the wind on our faces, your arms around me, the constant drizzle, the awkward question. Two years later I still can’t believe any of that was real. We watched the...
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Wow. This is gonna be an entirely different year because my laptop just died.
Update: tictactoe just did the job for me. Oh well, I guess things are gonna be back to normal.
December 2011
74 posts
3 tags
From the beginning, man has struggled to create the perfect device to make a god out of himself. And in the process of making pseudo-gods of ourselves we gave birth to technology. Since then, the goal has been to redefine life into something replicable. Something we can play with as we create another. But for as long as we live under this spell, we will remain in a state of senescence, with...
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We live in a world that operates from fear. Territorial barriers, residential permits, visas, security checkpoints, the whole sticky mess of red tape. Which is funny because if you recall far back enough, before economics and politics ever existed, we were born in caves and hid away in caves. We started out with nothing on our hands, yet from the dirt we rose and built buildings to defeat the...
How much does the internet weigh? →
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I cannot stand a society that judges you based on your religious belief (or lack of it) and what you make out of your potential. The paradigm is this: get straight A’s, finish college, choose a career that brings in the most cash, buy a big house, a fast car, nice clothes. If you’re not capable of any of these things, you’re a failure. If you don’t believe in God then you...
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I might be needing this. →
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Is it Christmas? →
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“Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn? Or the quiet and...”
– Norton Juster
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